i have this image of you in my mind
vivid like stained glass:
a rosary around your neck
and nothing else

i hail mary three times:
for the flutter of your eyes,
for the arch of your spine,
for the roll of your hips

you say my name like a litany
and i bare my sins into your skin

i worship you with whispered
hymns and kisses against your neck
and i tell you that you are divine,
something holy


she told me her name and i told her 
it sounded like starlight
she said i made her name sound beautiful
on my tongue
i wanted to kiss her
but my vision was hazy and now it’s my memory
her touch still burns red hot on my skin
and my lips still long to say her name again

head inside a dream

at least i was able to hold your hand
in my dream last night—
when i awoke,
i could hear your name in my heartbeat

how much longer do i have to keep waiting
for you to dream of me too?

here and there

how am i supposed to love someone so far away?

here i am:

i want you to think about me in the quiet in-between moments of work, to want me sitting next to you as you drive past the pacific sunrise

i want to know the texture of your hair, your hands, your chest, to feel my heartbeat manifest in a spark as our bodies touch

i want to breathe in your scent, i don’t care what you smell like; i want to hear your snores, to know every freckle on your skin, to know every scar you’ve ever gotten

i want to leave this city for a night and watch the stars dance and tell you that i don’t know why i feel so broken inside, that there are pieces of my memory that are missing and no one else knows, but now you do

there you are.

still. let’s fall in love.

2am love letter

you say you’re terrible, but so am i
i will love you, i will,
but i will always be waiting

for you to leave me–
once you see my darkest parts
you will realize
you’re not so bad after all

let my darkness illuminate you
let me build you castles
do not let me consume you
i am already my own demise

there was no profound reason
for me making my home in
a ten-by-ten square
seven hundred feet off the ground

it was my dream

i wanted to live among the stars
and not beneath them

severe weather warning

i spent most of second period today daydreaming
about how your skin would feel beneath my touch

soft, like a petal, like a kiss on the nape of your sleeping lover’s neck
if he were sleeping beside you and not in a hotel bed in busan

i tell you that i am delicate, a seashell within a storm
but i am lying to you: i am a landslide

i am trying not to lose myself in another person
i am failing


i traded my stars for city lights
because they seemed so much closer to me
but the streetlights are still out of my reach
and it’s getting colder and colder here

but last night, walking beneath the skyline
with you, the stars in windows
illuminating your face
smiling like a starburst in the black expanse of space

i felt warm.

i have strategized:
i am ready to fall in love
i am ready to look at a boy and think,
“we are going to destroy each other”
as our lips (and hips)
march in to battle


people say that spring
reminds them
of the scent of flowers

(but i don’t think
they mean
the ones lining the rooms of
funeral homes)